I am not above bribery for good behavior. I figure all human beings have to be bribed to do most things in life- either with a reward of some kind or from fear of punishment. How many people would be going to their place of employment each day without knowing there is a paycheck coming in a week or two? I recently discovered what kind of paycheck was necessary for Oakley and Eli to earn in order for me to get a little more sleep in the morning.
Oakley has never liked sleeping. When he was two years old he started getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning and was up for the day. He wouldn’t even take a nap. He loved going to bed and there was never a bedtime battle. But the early waking persisted, no matter how late we put him to bed.
I’m a believer that everyone is born with an internal sleeping clock that is extremely difficult to adjust. I am absolutely a night owl. My dream sleep schedule would be from midnight to 8:00 a.m. Rarely has my life been such to accommodate such a schedule, but that is when I feel my best. I remember the year I was training for the St. George marathon. I had to get up at 4:30 every morning to be able to get my workout in before I had to be at my job. All these theories thrown around about “anything will become a habit and your body will adjust in about three weeks” are lies. It was not any easier 4 months later at the end of the summer to get up at 4:30 than it was on the first day. The actual running of the marathon was much easier in comparison to the waking up at 4:30 a.m.
My body never adjusted and I have given up all hope of ever being a morning person. My Mom, on the other hand, is without question an early bird. She considers herself “sleeping in” if she sleeps until 7:00. She gets up at 5:30 every morning, regardless of whether she has to go to work or not. If she is staying home that day, she still wakes up at that time but does try and go back to sleep. When we go on an extended family vacation, no one wants to share a room with her because they know she’ll be up and rarin' to go at 5:30.
My friend Joanne that I met on my mission came out to Utah for vacation. We took her hiking in Arches and skiing at Brian head (Ahhh, hiking in the warm sun one day and hitting the slopes the next- life in Utah is awesome!) She said one of the funniest thing she remembers from that trip is waking up one morning in the hotel room and seeing my Mom awake at 6:00 a.m. in her bed reading a book and eating Cheetos. She is asleep on her couch by 9:00 every night, falling asleep in front of the TV. I don’t think she’ll experience a midnight movie in her total life experience. A lot of times I envy my Mom, it seems like being an early bird is the better way. But, like I said, I think I was born with an un-adjustable body clock. Just as nonadjustable as my body clock is, so is Oakley’s - on the other end of the spectrum.
In addition to not sleeping long enough, Oakley is an incredibly restless sleeper. When Oakley goes to visit Grandma Lee Ann in Idaho, he talks her into letting him sleep in her bed. Grandma Lee Ann would tell us he tosses and turns all night long- he doesn’t seem to lay still for even one minute increments, so we knew when he was sleeping, he wasn’t even getting restful sleep. In addition to tossing and turning all night, Oakley would also snore - like rattle the windows snore.
Our first intervention was to take him to an Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist. Dr. Deny’s did say that Oakley did have large tonsils and it would be benefit to him to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. After this surgery, there was no improvement in his sleeping - although we hoped he was sleeping more soundly. After another visit to Grandma Lee Ann’s, she reported he wasn’t sleeping anymore restful either.
The next intervention we tried was taking Oakley to the Sleep Clinic at Primary Children’s Medical Center. They even seemed a bit stumped. What they are usually dealing with is children who won’t go to sleep, not those who willingly go to sleep but wake up extremely early. The doctor gave us a few suggestions to try for two weeks, which we did but none of which resulted in Oakley sleeping any later in the morning. Finally, as way too often seems to be the case these days, Oakley was prescribed a medication to hopefully help him sleep longer and more restfully. There aren’t medications that are designed to work more than eight hours because they’re created for adults. Oakley does continue to take his medication at night which, as reported by Grandma Lee Ann, he sleeps significantly more soundly. But he doesn’t sleep more than 8 or 9 hours.
Being the night owl mother raising an early-bird (early-bird isn’t even the right term, he is far beyond an “early-bird”!) continues to be a challenge. Because we only have three bedrooms upstairs, Oakley and Eli (who is also a natural night owl) are sharing a bedroom. When Oakley wakes up, he wants company. He will usually wake Eli up and make all kind of ruckus that wakes up Asher and then he heads to my bedroom to wake up Scott and I. it is not a happy way to start the day for anyone.
We’ve tried every threat and promise we can think of to try to get Oakley to let the rest of the family sleep in the morning. Finally, we’ve found something that seems to be working. The ultimate bribery- chocolate! Oakley does not like many sweets- actually, I can’t think of any besides Tootsie Rolls and Hershey bars. I told Oakley and Eli that if they can sneak downstairs to the toy room after they wake up without waking up anybody else in the family, they can have a small Hershey bar. I told them they had to act like they were spies sneaking into a building and tiptoe quietly all the way to the basement toy room. So far they’ve taken the challenge.
If you would have told me before I started dealing with Oakley and his sleeping issues, that I would allow any of my children to have chocolate even before they have had breakfast I would have scoffed- what kind of terrible mother would do that?!?! Desperation brings desperate measures.
For now, I am at total peace bribing my children with chocolate for a little more sleep in the morning. I know that it starts our day off much better and that I have more patience throughout the day having gotten more rest. The results definitely outweigh the cost.
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