This One Keeps Me Thinking...

I read this quote the other day and I can't get it off my mind. I printed it off and have it on my fridge now.

President Brigham Young instructed parents by saying, "If each and every one of us who are parents will reflect upon the responsibilities devolving upon us, we shall come to the conclusion that we should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do. We should set them an example that we wish them to imitate."

Sheesh! That's a tall order....

Hershey Bars and Early Mornings...

I am not above bribery for good behavior. I figure all human beings have to be bribed to do most things in life- either with a reward of some kind or from fear of punishment. How many people would be going to their place of employment each day without knowing there is a paycheck coming in a week or two? I recently discovered what kind of paycheck was necessary for Oakley and Eli to earn in order for me to get a little more sleep in the morning.

Oakley has never liked sleeping. When he was two years old he started getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning and was up for the day. He wouldn’t even take a nap. He loved going to bed and there was never a bedtime battle. But the early waking persisted, no matter how late we put him to bed.

I’m a believer that everyone is born with an internal sleeping clock that is extremely difficult to adjust. I am absolutely a night owl. My dream sleep schedule would be from midnight to 8:00 a.m. Rarely has my life been such to accommodate such a schedule, but that is when I feel my best. I remember the year I was training for the St. George marathon. I had to get up at 4:30 every morning to be able to get my workout in before I had to be at my job. All these theories thrown around about “anything will become a habit and your body will adjust in about three weeks” are lies. It was not any easier 4 months later at the end of the summer to get up at 4:30 than it was on the first day. The actual running of the marathon was much easier in comparison to the waking up at 4:30 a.m.

My body never adjusted and I have given up all hope of ever being a morning person. My Mom, on the other hand, is without question an early bird. She considers herself “sleeping in” if she sleeps until 7:00. She gets up at 5:30 every morning, regardless of whether she has to go to work or not. If she is staying home that day, she still wakes up at that time but does try and go back to sleep. When we go on an extended family vacation, no one wants to share a room with her because they know she’ll be up and rarin' to go at 5:30.

My friend Joanne that I met on my mission came out to Utah for vacation. We took her hiking in Arches and skiing at Brian head (Ahhh, hiking in the warm sun one day and hitting the slopes the next- life in Utah is awesome!) She said one of the funniest thing she remembers from that trip is waking up one morning in the hotel room and seeing my Mom awake at 6:00 a.m. in her bed reading a book and eating Cheetos. She is asleep on her couch by 9:00 every night, falling asleep in front of the TV. I don’t think she’ll experience a midnight movie in her total life experience. A lot of times I envy my Mom, it seems like being an early bird is the better way. But, like I said, I think I was born with an un-adjustable body clock. Just as nonadjustable as my body clock is, so is Oakley’s - on the other end of the spectrum.

In addition to not sleeping long enough, Oakley is an incredibly restless sleeper. When Oakley goes to visit Grandma Lee Ann in Idaho, he talks her into letting him sleep in her bed. Grandma Lee Ann would tell us he tosses and turns all night long- he doesn’t seem to lay still for even one minute increments, so we knew when he was sleeping, he wasn’t even getting restful sleep. In addition to tossing and turning all night, Oakley would also snore - like rattle the windows snore.
Our first intervention was to take him to an Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist. Dr. Deny’s did say that Oakley did have large tonsils and it would be benefit to him to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. After this surgery, there was no improvement in his sleeping - although we hoped he was sleeping more soundly. After another visit to Grandma Lee Ann’s, she reported he wasn’t sleeping anymore restful either.

The next intervention we tried was taking Oakley to the Sleep Clinic at Primary Children’s Medical Center. They even seemed a bit stumped. What they are usually dealing with is children who won’t go to sleep, not those who willingly go to sleep but wake up extremely early. The doctor gave us a few suggestions to try for two weeks, which we did but none of which resulted in Oakley sleeping any later in the morning. Finally, as way too often seems to be the case these days, Oakley was prescribed a medication to hopefully help him sleep longer and more restfully. There aren’t medications that are designed to work more than eight hours because they’re created for adults. Oakley does continue to take his medication at night which, as reported by Grandma Lee Ann, he sleeps significantly more soundly. But he doesn’t sleep more than 8 or 9 hours.

Being the night owl mother raising an early-bird (early-bird isn’t even the right term, he is far beyond an “early-bird”!) continues to be a challenge. Because we only have three bedrooms upstairs, Oakley and Eli (who is also a natural night owl) are sharing a bedroom. When Oakley wakes up, he wants company. He will usually wake Eli up and make all kind of ruckus that wakes up Asher and then he heads to my bedroom to wake up Scott and I. it is not a happy way to start the day for anyone.

We’ve tried every threat and promise we can think of to try to get Oakley to let the rest of the family sleep in the morning. Finally, we’ve found something that seems to be working. The ultimate bribery- chocolate! Oakley does not like many sweets- actually, I can’t think of any besides Tootsie Rolls and Hershey bars. I told Oakley and Eli that if they can sneak downstairs to the toy room after they wake up without waking up anybody else in the family, they can have a small Hershey bar. I told them they had to act like they were spies sneaking into a building and tiptoe quietly all the way to the basement toy room. So far they’ve taken the challenge.
If you would have told me before I started dealing with Oakley and his sleeping issues, that I would allow any of my children to have chocolate even before they have had breakfast I would have scoffed- what kind of terrible mother would do that?!?! Desperation brings desperate measures.

For now, I am at total peace bribing my children with chocolate for a little more sleep in the morning. I know that it starts our day off much better and that I have more patience throughout the day having gotten more rest. The results definitely outweigh the cost.

Fish in the Next Life...

There are few people, if any, that I can think of that I do not look forward to meeting in the next life. As of recently there is one name on the list, Barry the Fish. When Oakley and Eli were really sick with strep throat this winter, I bought a couple of fish for them while I was at the store picking up their prescription. Eli named his Edward, after the Prince in Enchanted, and Oakley named his Barry, after one of the characters in The Bee Movie. Our family has not had much success with fish longevity. I’ve bought all the recommended water treatments and anything else the salesman recommends, all to no avail. With this new couple of fish, Edward died within in a week and Barry seemed to be going strong.

A few months later I noticed Barry face down in the brightly colored gravel of the aquarium. Swimming happily the night before, then eating rock the next morning. I usually immediately send the fish down the toilet to their watery grave, but had other “fires” that needed dealing with that morning. Then the days wore on. Neither of the boys seemed to notice Barry in his lifeless state and I couldn’t seem to find the two minutes it would take to flush him. Finally, feeling completely guilt ridden, I finally located the fish net and watched Barry take a swirley ride down to his final resting place.

I do not look forward to seeing Barry in the next life if animals can talk. I hope that he was a resident of our home long enough to sense the never-ending insanity of life with three small boys and why it seemed so difficult to finally acknowledge the end of his life with the ceremonial flush. I do much prefer my situation, though, to that of my Mom’s. She accidentally bumped the container that held our beta fish into the kitchen sink. The fish fell down the drain into the garbage disposal. According to her account, there was “no way I was sticking my hand down that disposal to try and get that fish out.” In her thinking, the only option was to turn on the disposal.

Yes, I would much rather be the one who let the already-dead Barry lay face down in gravel for a few extra days than the one who turned on the disposal to end the life of a much-alive beta fish. But we’ll have to see what these two fish have to say about it….

The Stove that Wouldn't Die...

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I am extremely “thrifty.” I think a lot of it comes from growing up with a mother who could, out of necessity, stretch a dollar farther than anyone I know. No one can out save my Mom. Now that I am responsible for a family and try to keep track of our weekly expenses, I am again amazed at all my Mom was able to do with her budget. Never once as a child did I feel deprived or like I was missing out on anything. We seemed to be living as good as or most times better than the people I knew. My siblings and I were all involved in extra-cirriculur activities like dance, sports, music lessons, etc.; every Christmas was magical with the family room being filled to overflowing with gifts; and we always felt like we were dressed in the ‘cool clothes’ during those years when what you were wearing seemed so important. I did not ever feel like I was left wanting.

As I grew older and realized how many financial tricks my Mom had, I was amazed at how she was able to pull it off. It wasn’t easy, but I am so glad for the lessons I learned from her about saving up for big purchases, not just buying them with a credit card. In fact, when it became the norm to reserve hotel rooms with a credit card was the only time I ever saw my Mom with a credit card in her possession. My Mom was all about “lay away,” which stores don’t even offer anymore. There wasn’t any item that came into our home until it was 100% paid for. I grew up with the impression that credit cards were bad, evil, to be avoided; which I’m glad for now as I see all the trouble people my age and younger have ended up in because of credit card debt. I’m so grateful for all of the dollar-stretching techniques Mom taught me by her example. She never sat me down and had this big discussion about how to be thrifty, she only taught me by her actions.

I remember the first trip Scott took with my family while we were still dating. We were going down to stay in Moab and do some hiking in Arches National Park. As usual, we got one hotel room for all six of us on the trip. There was one king bed that Mom and Aunt Karen shared and the rest of us put down our air mattresses and sleeping bags for the night. Because this is how I’d always traveled, I didn’t think much of it. But I could tell by the look on Scott’s face, this was all new to him. He later, much later after we were married, admitted his air mattress went flat as soon as he laid on it and he didn’t get much sleep on the hard floor that night. It was because of this way of penny-pinching traveling that we were able to go on many family trips and see places and do things we wouldn’t have been able to if everyone insisted having their own bed to sleep in. It was a monumental moment when we were on a trip and my brother Colt, then 16 at the time, declared, “This is the first family trip I’ve been on where I’ve got to sleep in a bed!” Although excited, I’m sure not Colt or any of my siblings would have traded any of the trips we went on to be able to have our own bed to sleep in while in a hotel.

The money savings didn’t end with cramming many-a-body into a hotel room either. We always traveled with a cooler and tried to eat as many meals as we could with items we purchased at the local grocery store- cold cereal for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch. I remember the first time my brother and sister-in-law went to Disneyland and my brother refused to buy food from any of the vendors inside the Park. Jeremy insisted they leave the Park and eat for half the price at a local fast-food restaurant. Some traditions will never die…

It is this kind of upbringing that made me think there was no reasonable justification for replacing the original, 1976 Jenn-Air stove that was in our kitchen. It still worked perfectly fine, it just looked old. I told myself I would just keep using it until it finally died. Well, after living in the house for four years and realizing that Jenn-Air would never give up the ghost, I decided I was going to get a new stove. I found my dream stove and was so excited to start being able to use it.


As with any upgrade the to the “farm house,” nothing is ever easy. The stove sat on the rug in the sitting room just off the kitchen for weeks as Scott tried to get the opening just right to put the stove in. finally, after becoming used to our stove in the middle of the floor, it found its way to it’s real home.



We decided to get an over-the-range microwave, too, which was going to require the cupboard above being adjusted. This has led to not only a new cabinet being built for over the microwave, but a new pantry being built where the wall stove and microwave are now, all new doors for the cupboards, and refinishing the butcher block. It will feel like a whole new kitchen!
Here are the before pictures and what we’ve been living in. I look forward to the day when I will be posting the after pictures with everything all fixed up. I think, even as cost-conscience as my Mom is, she agreed that it was time for an update of the 1976 kitchen.

Boys and Ketchup...

Is there a code of some kind that is located on the Y-chromosome that results in a love of ketchup? I remember while growing up my brothers would squirt a mountain of ketchup near the size of Mount McKinley to dip their homemade fries in. (Ah, yes- growing up in the 70’s and 80’s. Everything was fried in a Fry Daddy before consumption- grease was our friend! I remember the gadget Mom had to take real potatoes and slice them into fries and then fry them up in the Fry Daddy. We never felt guilt for this- not even once!)

Now I see the ketchup obsession shining through in my own boys. Eli will consume as much ketchup, ounce for ounce, as the food he’s dipping in the ketchup. Often the food item will be dipped and used more as a spoon to consume the ketchup over and over again until the food item is soggy to the point of disintegration and will then finally be eaten.
Ketchup is used with a lot of unconventional ketchup/food combinations in our home. The other day I saw Asher dipping his grapes in ketchup. The ketchup obsession seems to start young and Asher is deeply engrossed already.

As for myself, with no Y-chromosome, I don’t get it. I like a bit of ketchup on the usual ketchup-approved food items- hamburgers, hot dogs, French fries, etc. You will not find me even considering double-dipping or taking my grapes for a dip in a pool of ketchup before consumption.

I know that my boys are not alone in their love of ketchup. I remember in the movie “Big Daddy” when the young boy would squirt entire packets of ketchup into his mouth. I will not be introducing this idea to any of my children. Although if, heaven forbid, one day my sons are out living on the street - I guess they could survive by fast-food restaurant hopping to meet their daily caloric needs through consuming enough ketchup packets.

It’s one of the great mysteries of the kingdom- boys and their what seems to be physically driven need for major amounts of ketchup

Our Little Roman Emporer...

Where kids get the ideas they do, I don't know. But we got a good laugh from Asher the other day when he had gotten a small bunch of grapes, walked over to the rug in the sitting room, laid down on his back, and started dropping them in his mouth. He may be the first self-appointed Roman Emporer.

A Free Kitchen...

When I returned home from Costco a few days ago, Eli was extremely interested in the large box I carried in from the car. I'm sure his four-year-old heart was set on some wonderful new toy being contained therein, so I knew that my response of, "A new garbage can," would be a let down. But, surprisingly, his eyes grew wide and he asked, "Did we get a free kitchen, too?" I asked him what did he mean by a free kitchen, and he pointed at the box and said, "Is this free kitchen in the box, too?!?!?"

Wouldn't it be fabulous, a new kitchen in a box for $75?!?!

A bedskirt- seriously?!?!

I have absolutely no question that when the Family Proclamation states that men and women have their individual roles, although they are to "help one another as equal partners." Scott is a much better provider of finances than he is a keeper of the home. Just as I am a much better homemaker than a fly-er of jet planes to provide a bi-weekly deposit into our checking account.

I was reminded of this "separate but equal" role that we possess last week. Eli, our beloved bed wetter, had once again had his bed stripped that morning of his pee-pee sheets. I was out for the afternoon doing errands ALONE - (Yes, I said alone and it was fabulous! It was my turn to walk by the mothers with screaming children in their cart and give them a sympathetic smile, grateful it wasn't my day to be dealing with unruly children at the grocery store.) When I got back later that afternoon I noticed that Eli had our king-sized sheet on his bed. After a closer look, I realized Scott had folded our sheet in half to make it fit on the twin-sized mattress. It seemed to me like a lot more work than just looking through the linen closet a little more thoroughly for the right size sheet. "Oh, well," I thought, "It does do the job." It was later that night as I was actually tucking Eli in that I discovered an even more humorous aspect of the "sheet episode." As I was pulling the top sheet up to cover Eli I couldn't figure out what was going on with this weird sheet. It was then that I found out Scott had put an old bed skirt- yes, a bed skirt - on as a top sheet. To me, it was so hilarious I had to break down laughing immediately. I assure you our linen closet has plenty of sheets for each bed. I don't even know where he found that old bed skirt- it had to be buried way back in the deep, dark corners.

Yes, Scott is definitely a better captain of a jetliner than a maker of beds. Unless of course you like sleeping with a bed skirt on top of you....

Our Thoughtful Eli...

After having had three children, I am a firm believer that people are born with certain temperaments and traits that are hard-wired. As parents we have influence over certain things, but there are just some things that cannot be taught. Eli has come into this world being very aware of others and their needs. He wants others to be happy and he'll do whatever is within his power to make that happen. Like the other day when we were playing with the Lite Bright. I was busy pushing in the colored pegs to finish the picture while Eli seemed to just be digging in the pile of pegs. After a few minutes he pointed to a pile of yellow pegs that he had made and said, "Look, Mom, I found all the yellow pegs for you to use!" Eli knows that yellow is my favorite color and used this knowledge to do something he thought would bring me happiness. He was right, it did. How many four-year-olds are that thoughtful and want to make sure their Mom has her favorite color pegs to use with the Lite Bright? Our Thoughtful Eli... I have much to learn from him about being more aware of others and ways to make them happy....