It doesn't seem to take many ingredients to create a Apathetic Dormant Listless Mom. This winter seems to have brought together the perfect mixture. While I've been contemplating why it is that I don't want to get out of bed every day and why it is I have to force myself to do even the most menial of tasks, I've compiled the following list:
- It's January (need I say more? February = same thing)
- It's unbelievably cold this year - way colder than usual
- It just keeps snowing and snowing and snowing. Now I do like snow- but this year has exceeded my "like" level.
- Turning 40. I have had serious anxiety about turning 40 since I turned 36, so the anxiety has been building for quite some time. Yes, I'm about to spontaneously combust. Why such anxiety? I do not know. 30 did not even phase me, seemed like any other birthday. 40 seems completely unbearable. I need to analyze this further. But since I'm in such a despondent state, I'm lacking much perspective.
- Someone has abducted my darling cherubs and replaced them with cantankerous battling warmongering offspring. I feel like I am living in an episode of "Super Nanny" and find myself anxiously staring at the door waiting for Jo Frost to make her grand entrance and save us all! I think the extra cold winter and not having ample time to get outside and use up what seems to be an endless supply of energy in boys may be a contributing factor in their level of naughtiness. But because of my current state of mind (see above items) I just totally blame them and find myself angry and upset at them far more often than I should be.
- Taking a fabulous vacation for twelve days during single digit temperatures should have lifted my spirits. While on the vacation, I felt like my old self. Surrounded by twenty of the people I love most in the world; temperatures in the 80's; rest, relaxation, and fun were all that were on the daily agenda; and seeing beautiful sites and eating yummy food = a utopian existence. I was blinking back tears as we "walked the plank" off the ship. I LOVED the vacation, but the "high" that it was made my reality seem that much lower.
1. Tiffany convinced me last year that I should sign up for Ragnar with her team.(Ragnar is the overnight running relay race that makes testing your limits a team sport. A Team is made up of 6-12 individuals; each individual runs 3 legs. The legs of the race vary in difficulty and distance, from 3-8 miles, allowing elite and novice runners to run together. Over 2 days and 1 night, teams run across 200 miles of the country's most scenic terrain. Pair that with crazy costumes, inside jokes, a great finish line party and unforgettable stories. Some call it a slumber party without sleep, pillows or deodorant. We call it Ragnar.) Of course it seemed like an easy commitment a year ago. Once February popped up on the calendar, June seemed unbearably close. I've decided I need to get serious about preparing for the race. I've started a training program I like and should have me in decent shape for the race. My exercise program has taken a significant nose dive since November. Getting back on the exercise track seems to be helpful also. In January I was cursing myself for signing up for the race, now I'm so thankful Tiffany talked me into it. It gave me the kick in the pants I needed.
2. Emily and I will be visiting Europe April 10th-18th! It's a dream come true! I will be standing in the Crawley Chapel and see the structure that I've heard all the miracle stories about from Grandpa Moore. I'm overwhelmed with just that aspect of the trip. Emily's parents are currently serving as missionaries in Brighton, where the Crawley Chapel is located, and we will be able to spend a few days with them. We will start our adventure in Paris for a few days and then on to England. I've been wanting to see Europe, anything or anywhere in Europe, my entire life. I guess it took turning 40 to make it happen. Maybe it will be worth it... maybe... and what a wonderful traveling companion Emily will be.
3. I will be going to visit Ellen James in Washington DC April 24th-29th with two other friends. Cedar Hills has just not been the same since my darling friend has moved to DC. She is having wonderful adventures and amazing experiences with her family as she works for Senator Mike Lee. She is taking absolutely every opportunity she is provided and making the most of her time there, but I miss her so very much. She is such a real friend and I still miss her a lot. With all of her "connections" she's going to take us to see some really great places. But most of all I can't wait to just be in her presence and be around her loving energy.
4. Scott is working on some surprise for my BIG BIRTHDAY. I know he would like to take me on a cruise somewhere in the Mediterranean. With the boys, it will make things easier if we go the week after my birthday since it's their spring break and they will be out of school. We'll see what he comes up with... he never disappoints....